Bday Card

OUTSIDE: When people ask you how old you are, tell them what I tell them…

INSIDE: It’s none of your fucking business.

Valentine Card

OUTSIDE: I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles

INSIDE: And even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

Button

No Pussy Grabbing

several sizes available

Mug

No Pussy Grabbing

Penis Gauge Magnet

Measures a “generous” 2.125” x 3.125”

Curious?
Find out for sure!

Penis Gauge Hat

Need an Emergency Penis Check?

Here’s a gauge right on top of your head!